Well, I have finally decided to write these lines. Apparently, I waited for a magic stimulating kick, such as the recent article Who needs this scribble? I’ve been reading www.rgdn.info for a long time already, and it’s the first place on the internet which I attend every day. I have always been thinking: how do people manage to write such an interesting and useful content? When the CATHARSIS section was launched I thought: “Here it is! Now you can also share your experience of disclosure of the System’s stereotypes and patterns.” Yet, the known voice in my head whispered: “What experience are you talking about? You know nothing, while these people are indeed experienced”, or “Well, you have everything fine already. Most stereotypes have nothing to do with you”, or “Well, maybe once I will write something when I find an appropriate topic and have inspiration”, and so on, and so forth. Just to mention, I enjoy writing (I even composed poems in the past), and even kept a meditation diary in a VK group. I liked the process and opportunity to expound my thoughts and experience in a structured way. But once it came to Catharsis as an opportunity to open myself to thousands of people whom I never saw and who might laugh at me or condemn me or give comments undesirable for my self-esteem, here a brake worked for any intention to write. My dear friends, the whole point is that consciousness does not want to be uncovered, and so it defends itself. And it’s always deceitful, as discussed in the article Consciousness… the Devil!. That is, if it says to me I don’t need to do something this is a great opportunity to uncover it right away and to expose it to everyone. And it doesn’t really matter what comments will be written or whether this text will be published or not. The main thing is that now I’m not afraid to challenge consciousness, put it under searchlights, show that it exists and tell everybody about it. I hope my experience described below will be useful for someone. After all, each one of us strives for becoming better, and this way passes through purification of oneself from programs and patterns imposed by the System. If you want to overcome the enemy, get to know him by sight.
If everything goes fine, in separate articles I plan to describe several life situations faced by most of us; I hope this will be helpful or at least become an evidence of the fact that you are not alone with such problems, and these problems can be and should be resolved.
Analysis No. 1: Manifestation of pride in sports
First I will say a few words about myself, so that readers could understand the basis of my experience. Since childhood I considered myself an active kid: numerous sports and martial art groups, swimming, cycling, roof and fence jumping (later it was called freerunning). At college I went in for sports tourism, mountain hiking and rock climbing. Later on I switched to Krav Maga, alpine skiing and exhausting crossfit trainings, numerous heat obstacle courses, and many more. I also had survival trainings and a couple simulation trainings (it’s when you are taken hostage and even get a little beaten). It became a norm and even joy for me to wear my body out extremely. I always said to myself I was feeling alive at such moments. Perhaps, it was because at such moments that voice in my head stops talking, and only the now moment remains (but is this really so?). Generally speaking, my life was and is still filled with sports, although I never had a goal to achieve a professional level in anything; I have simply enjoyed being active and in motion. At a certain point I even said to myself I could not live without sports (did I really say so, and was it consciousness whispering?).
Yet, what brought and still brings me so much pleasure (I just can’t call it otherwise) in sports? As I remember, I was always endeavouring to be number one in everything compared to others (comparison). I wanted to run faster, jump higher, pull myself up more times, turn a somersault in front of girls, and it was necessary for me to be appraised (appraisal) and envied, what a cool and strong guy I was (opinion). And this is pride in its pure state. Even when I was exercising on my own in the middle of a field, I had such thoughts as: “I wish somebody could see me.” That is, throughout the time I was feeding on attention and approval of other people (vampirism), who were supposed to confirm to my self-esteem how cool I was. And this is how it always was. Only now I started to realize little by little how strongly the System is holding me for years. And the most amazing or rather logical thing is that the System does give you what you want: I stood on podiums many times, and was praised, and every new kind of sports I tried I mastered easily and smoothly.
At that, I have to make a reservation that I don’t consider sports (active lifestyle) something bad now, not at all! I still train, since it’s necessary to keep the body (environmental suit for the Soul, or the vehicle) in a proper shape. Moreover, regular training disciplines man’s character a great deal. However, the most significant is one’s main motive for training. If you approach training as something necessary to maintain long and due functioning of your temporary corporal shell it’s one thing, but if you cherish your pride through sports and put yourself for show in front of other people (let’s recall people who come to gyms, take selfies and immediately post them on Facebook to collect likes) this is already a problem you should fight with.
How should you fight? Very simply! Just like with any pattern of consciousness. You should live in the now point, rejoice and experience happiness of your every inhalation (Love) and exhalation (Gratitude) while running, with every sweat drop while training, and of the joy of communication with like-minded people. Don’t endeavour to be distinguished or praised, but simply run / jump / fly, because you love movement and life as a whole. In such case trainings pass easier and happier. I no more care which will be my number at marathon finish. But the true joy for me is to be able to help someone pass a difficult barrier or to reassure those who lose courage. That’s how it was at my last race: I decided not to run together with those in the front, but stayed in the middle with guys from my team. I passed all barriers as usual, but this time together with my friends and with a smile. It was hard, but we did it together as a team, and our memories and (most importantly) feelings will last for long. I should tell you I never had such a joy of running before. The feeling generated while helping others is so much greater than the euphoria of getting medals.
Going in for sports is good, but let’s remember that search of happiness in the external only is a way to nowhere. True happiness means the joy of exploration of oneself as a part of the Eternal Spiritual World, the world of God. And if sports help you find like-minded people with whom you overcome your weaknesses and study the System together, this is totally wonderful! The main thing is to remember for which purpose and where we should use the powers of Allat in everyday life and to adhere to our principal task – the Soul salvation.
Received from Włodzimierz (Poland)