Well, if this is catharsis, I beg your pardon, but I’ll raise the topic of politics, because two years ago I got into a serious mess while observing the situation in Ukraine, though at that time I was already familiar with all books by Anastasia Novykh and steadily worked on self-improvement. Perhaps, I need to start with telling that very long time ago I was keen on poetry, and among my writings there were numerous works reflecting social issues. In particular, I was very sensitive to ordinary people’s troubles and needs, to social injustice, and I truly grieved over our Ukrainian people. Passionate genius and psychopath Sergei Yesenin was very close to me by the spirit. It’s not worth speaking of that period of my life from the point of view of spirituality, for that was by and large mere service of the Animal Nature.
Yet, as years and decades passed, I became aware people themselves were to blame for all their hardships. And when deplorable revolutionary events started in Kiev, I instinctively felt a big-time trouble and another delusion approaching. I plunged into negativism because of the internet with stable regularity. Social media, news, Shariy, and so on… I wrote a lot, participated in discussions, endeavoured to express my opinion. My head was in a muddle with plenty of thoughts-demons. I imagine what was taking place in heads of active participants of the conflict!
Just like I had assumed, there was not only revolution, i.e. the disgraced leader overthrow, but a real war started in the country thereafter. And I am totally confident all that was planned from the very beginning, but I guess it’s Crimea which had to “explode”, not Donbas. The further more often I realized where I was losing; and it was on the battlefield of my mind. I hadn’t watched TV on principle for about twenty years, but the internet continued seizing me with social media news lines. I clearly understood the political situation in the country was my hook, and nothing else touched me so strongly. However, as if a drug addict, I kept following the news. What I was really upset about was total inadequacy of people around. There was an impression as if you were among population who had received a mortal injection in their consciousness, and people fell ill, not even noticing. I admit everything was going on differently, but I describe my own experience. Thus, at one remarkable moment I understood the Ukrainian people was not mine as I had used to call it, and there was a fathomless chasm between this people and myself. As a matter of fact, up to that point I had already experienced everything on the Earth and was totally seriously going to God, while the people were going to Europe where, in their opinion, there was a comfortable earthly life. And the point is not as much that no one expects Ukrainians there and will hardly ever let them in, and not that it’s another lies… The point is that the Ukrainian people and I are moving in opposite directions: I am heading for the Spiritual World, for the heavenly paradise, and they are heading for the world of matter, for the earthly paradise. And I turned totally indifferent to the further destiny of this people.
I remember how thoughts appeared that I would be mobilized and called up. Later on there were thoughts about imprisonment for not being mobilized. My main job was not to let such thoughts in. In my reality there was neither Ukrainian army, nor prison, I didn’t think about them, i.e. didn’t invest attention into such projections, so they were unlikely. As life has shown, such approach works without a hitch.
Firstly, I have eliminated a powerful source of negativism (politics) from my life. How? I simply stopped being interested and ignored news lines. And that worked. Outcome: inner peace and spiritual strengthening.
Secondly, I came to realize that millions of people around and I were going in opposite directions, and nothing could be done about that, for there was their choice and my choice. Why should I be nervous and worry about their choice? Their choice inevitably leads to suffering, but who is to blame? Therefore, I no longer grieve over my people. Egoism, somebody would say. Well, you may say whatever you please, and my internal self-improvement work may well be called egoism. But it’s important for me to put the kibosh on my animal nature, no matter how egoistic I would appear. Outcome: inner peace and spiritual strengthening.
Thirdly, I became aware of the fact that everything around was a big and grievous game. Most importantly, one should not forget oneself in playing it. No matter what tomorrow happens to people who have chosen the comfort of matter or the earthly paradise, I shall try to accept this impartially. This is their choice, and it’s senseless to mourn. Outcome: inner peace and spiritual strengthening.
Fourthly, I’ve learnt to love those who do not even deserve this; I’ve learnt to simply love everyone without any reason. At that, I don’t care about their earthly destiny at all. I shall repeat one more time: this is their choice. Anyone may go where he or she wants, while I am already tired with playing and seek only God. Outcome: inner peace and spiritual strengthening.
Received from Evpatiy Kolovrat (Kiev, Ukraine)
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